So it unfolds...

What I learned from my Mom...
Where do I start? It's like a book that's written on my heart, and wherever I go in life, it guides me in ways I bet she doesn't even realize. First of all, I learned that sometimes a hug can say more than words. And that I could trust myself as I began to make my way in the world, because I was standing on the solid foundation she gave me. I learned that strength comes from standing up and doing what's right, even if sometimes you stand alone. That excuses don't work (no matter how many good ones I came up with!) I learned that success comes from trying, failing, and trying again, not from everything being perfect all the time. That kindness counts more than getting ahead. That times may change, but the important things don't. I learned that no matter where I am, there's someone who cares and believes in me. And I learned that there really are angels on this earth..because my mom is one of them.

I've always appreciated the relationship I have with my mother for reasons that can stay untold. I've always looked up to her. I've always hoped to be even half the person she is. I've always admired her character, kindness and solid strength she has gained through the many situations she's been faced with throughout her life. I've always looked back on my childhood and was so thankful that I had her there with me. Thankful that my character was molded by her. Thankful that my core values were all inspired by the way she treated us. We would always mess around and talk about how when I was older we were going to invest all of our money into an orphanage and give all of the homeless kids homes and feed them her amazing dinners. It was always a dream for both of us. She didn't get her orphanage, but I do believe she has helped that same amount of people being the person she is today. We laugh about it when we talk now because she always talks about how so many young girls call her their mom and are always looking to her for that comforting feeling that mother's just know how to give. She jokes about having to get a really big home to make sure there will always be room for everyone. Life has a funny way of unfolding into what it is supposed to be for you. But I believe it does. I don't believe that they needed her more than me and my siblings, not even close, but I'm glad that they have her for now. I'm glad that she is able to know that she is changing lives due to a life changing event. I'm grateful for the time I had with her when I was a child, I'm sad for the time missed by my younger sister and brother. I'm sad that they didn't get that experience. I despise time for that single reason. My heart hurts for that time that will never return, that can't be re-lived, that's just, lost. Mother's Day is hard. Most who are close to me know this already..It's the one day I feel okay living in my emotions. I feel okay hurting for my siblings. I feel okay longing for that day we've looked forward to for way too long. I feel okay expressing myself however I want, not caring what anyone thinks. Today is that day. It's bittersweet for me. It reminds me of the great times, but also reminds me of the lost time.

Becoming a mother has always been my biggest dream. Becoming a great mother is something I'll never stop trying to be. I'm so thankful for that time I had with my mom to learn how to be the best mom I could be. I'm thankful for Beckahm and his sweet sweet smile that brightens my day each and every day and always helps me want to better myself in every way possible. I'm thankful for my amazing husband and his sweet reminders that let me know he appreciates me. I'm so thankful for the fact that I'm able to be a mother and experience these feelings. They are by far the greatest on earth.

The last month I can still call my baby a baby...

I hate that it has taken me so long to update on this huge milestone month for our little B, but at the same time it's kinda nice. I feel like I don't get as much time as I would like with my little man and when I do get my time with him, the last thing I want to do is spend time typing or focusing on something else other than him..even though...this technically is all about him haha. This little ball of fire keeps me on my toes CONSTANTLY! We're so busy during the day it feels like minutes rather than hours. I can definitely jot one up on the bad parenting list for myself though because I still have yet to stop myself from going in and waking him up when I get off work every night. I'm working on it though. It's kinda funny I just finished a Lifespan Development Class and I felt like I would ace the parenting section...turns out, it's not okay to wake your kids up and mess up that schedule for them...duh...I knew this, just tried to convince myself otherwise so I could keep seeing that cute little smiling face after a long day of missing him! But, because I do know what type of parent I truly want to be...I'm working on this :). Anyways, enough about that! Beckahm is growing like a weed and getting smarter than ever! 

11 Months Stats:

Weight:

21 lbs

Height:

31"

• Wearing Size 3 Diapers, Size 4 Shoes, 12-18 Month Clothing
• Will stand by himself, but still refuses to walk..I'm blaming it on him falling into the coffee table last month :(
• He has his two front teeth and bottom left tooth
• Happiest little boy I know
• Laughs at any and everything!
• Claps and throws his hands up in the air when he gets excited
• Eating big people food only
• Drinking big people milk now vs formula and doing it like a champ
• Has figured out how to crawl on and off of the couch, crossing my fingers this doesn't happen in the crib just yet.
• He says mama, dada, papa, baba, bye bye, huh?, ball, and if I'm lucky I can talk him into saying book
• Loves to watch puppies play and bark and thinks it's hysterical
• Loves books and being able to turn the pages himself
• His favorite toys are his footballs....imagine that...I think his dad may have brain washed him a little.
• Loves his Aunt Kristen more than his mother..literally..I could leave for a week and as long as she is there he wouldn't even bat an eye..this isn't surprising though :) 
• Loves finger painting..found this out with one of his favorite babysitters Keilani, who he absolutely adores as well.
• Likes to be held when he's getting ready for bed and when he just wakes up
• Loves water
• Loves the carousel
• He has recently become obsessed with the what we now call his favorite blankies-both were given to him with matching burp cloths and he drags them both everywhere. One from Aunt Debbie and one from Aunt Kristen's friend Katelyn. So kudos to them for making such amazing blankets for this little man.
• Is so much more entertained with his musical toys now and will sit and bounce on his knees so hard sometimes he flies face first haha
• Has started to become a bit of a fit thrower when I tell him no or that he can't do something, today after I told him he needed to be nice and share I got a glare then off with the blanket around the corner where I found him with his face planted in his folded arms on the floor pouting, it was hilarious
• No longer likes to go to sleep. Period. Grrr
• Slowly weaning him off of his bottle, it's so hard because he loves it so much I feel bad..but I'm working on it :)
• Loves anything that plays music so he can dance to it whether it's on tv, my phone or a toy
• It finally seems like he really knows that I'm mama and David is dada, it's pretty much the coolest thing ever.
• He loves to watch me cook any and everything
• Tries to race to the fridge before I can close it and grab anything he can
• Will eat ANY type of food I'm eating...even my cafe rio vegetarian burrito with the hottest sauce they have. This kid's a bottomless pit lol
• He isn't too fond of sitting around and watching tv unless the wiggles are on, those weirdos seem to grab his attention pretty quick, probably because they're so weird!
• Still loves to tear paper, toilet paper, paper towels, wrapping paper into really small pieces then try to eat it!
• Still owns my phone, the remote, my keys and the xbox controller

I'm sure there is so much more that I could go on and on about, but his First Birthday is only two short days away, so I'll save some of it for then. We did it, we actually kept a little human alive for an entire year. Given we both had to learn many new things on him, the poor kid, but I'm sure any future brothers or sisters will be grateful for his sacrifice haha. I love this little guy so much and sometimes get paranoid that I could never have any other kids because I'm just not sure how I could ever love them as much as I do Beckahm. David makes fun of me for this, but I really do get concerned about that. How do parents adjust?! I'm scared and a little nervous to ever have to split my attention onto more than just him. I don't want him to ever feel like I love him any less. Can you feel the paranoia going on here? I'm going to stop writing about it because it really does stress me right the heck out. I'll save those worrisome thoughts for another day. I cannot believe it's really here. Two short short days. Happy Birthday Sugar Plumb Bum we love you soooooo very much!

 

Once I figure out how to get my pictures off my iPhone there will definitely be more. For now this adorable one will do. This was his 11 month photo shoot :)