So it unfolds...

What I learned from my Mom...
Where do I start? It's like a book that's written on my heart, and wherever I go in life, it guides me in ways I bet she doesn't even realize. First of all, I learned that sometimes a hug can say more than words. And that I could trust myself as I began to make my way in the world, because I was standing on the solid foundation she gave me. I learned that strength comes from standing up and doing what's right, even if sometimes you stand alone. That excuses don't work (no matter how many good ones I came up with!) I learned that success comes from trying, failing, and trying again, not from everything being perfect all the time. That kindness counts more than getting ahead. That times may change, but the important things don't. I learned that no matter where I am, there's someone who cares and believes in me. And I learned that there really are angels on this earth..because my mom is one of them.

I've always appreciated the relationship I have with my mother for reasons that can stay untold. I've always looked up to her. I've always hoped to be even half the person she is. I've always admired her character, kindness and solid strength she has gained through the many situations she's been faced with throughout her life. I've always looked back on my childhood and was so thankful that I had her there with me. Thankful that my character was molded by her. Thankful that my core values were all inspired by the way she treated us. We would always mess around and talk about how when I was older we were going to invest all of our money into an orphanage and give all of the homeless kids homes and feed them her amazing dinners. It was always a dream for both of us. She didn't get her orphanage, but I do believe she has helped that same amount of people being the person she is today. We laugh about it when we talk now because she always talks about how so many young girls call her their mom and are always looking to her for that comforting feeling that mother's just know how to give. She jokes about having to get a really big home to make sure there will always be room for everyone. Life has a funny way of unfolding into what it is supposed to be for you. But I believe it does. I don't believe that they needed her more than me and my siblings, not even close, but I'm glad that they have her for now. I'm glad that she is able to know that she is changing lives due to a life changing event. I'm grateful for the time I had with her when I was a child, I'm sad for the time missed by my younger sister and brother. I'm sad that they didn't get that experience. I despise time for that single reason. My heart hurts for that time that will never return, that can't be re-lived, that's just, lost. Mother's Day is hard. Most who are close to me know this already..It's the one day I feel okay living in my emotions. I feel okay hurting for my siblings. I feel okay longing for that day we've looked forward to for way too long. I feel okay expressing myself however I want, not caring what anyone thinks. Today is that day. It's bittersweet for me. It reminds me of the great times, but also reminds me of the lost time.

Becoming a mother has always been my biggest dream. Becoming a great mother is something I'll never stop trying to be. I'm so thankful for that time I had with my mom to learn how to be the best mom I could be. I'm thankful for Beckahm and his sweet sweet smile that brightens my day each and every day and always helps me want to better myself in every way possible. I'm thankful for my amazing husband and his sweet reminders that let me know he appreciates me. I'm so thankful for the fact that I'm able to be a mother and experience these feelings. They are by far the greatest on earth.