A time comes in your life when you
finally get it...when, in the midst of all your
fears and
insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out
ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or
struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through
new eyes. This is your
awakening.
You realize it's time to stop hoping and
waiting for something to change...or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that you are neither Prince Charming or Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with
you...and in the process a sense of
serenity is born of
acceptance. You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are...and that's OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. And you learn the
importance of
loving and championing
yourself...and in the process a sense of new found
confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the
unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say and not everyone will always be there for you and that it's not
always about you.
So you learn to stand on your own and take care of yourself...and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of
self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they
are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties...and in the process a sense of peace and
contentment is born of
forgiveness. You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all of the messages and opinions that have been
ingrained into your pysche. And you begin to sift through all of the
junk you've been fed about how you
should behave, how you
should look, how much you
should weigh, what you
should wear, what you
should do for a living, how much money you
should make, what you
should drive, how and where you
should live, who you
should marry, the importance of having and raising children, and what you owe your parents, family and friends.
You learn to open up to
new worlds and
different points of view. And you begin reassessing and
redefining who
you are and what you really
stand for. You learn the
difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with...and in the process you learn to go with your
instincts.
You learn that it is truly in
giving that we
receive. And that there is power and
glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "
consumer" looking for your next fix. You learn that principles such as
honesty and
integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must
build a life. You learn that you don't know
everything, it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing.
You learn to
distinguish between
guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake. Then you learn about
LOVE.
How to love, how much to
give in love, when to
stop giving and when to
walk away. You learn to look at relationships as they
really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. And you learn that
alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly
okay...and that it is
your right to
want things and to
ask for the things you want...and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization that you
deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you
won't settle for less.
And you learn that your body really is your
temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with
respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take
more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body,
laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to
laugh and to
play.
You learn that, for the most part,
you get in life what you believe you deserve...and that much of life truly is
a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is
worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance.
You also learn that no one can do it all
alone.. and that it's okay to risk
asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is the greatest robber baron of all:
FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you
can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. And you learn to
fight for your life and not squander it living under a cloud of impending doom.
You learn that life isn't
always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes
bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalize things. You learn that
GOD isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just
life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in it's most primal state-the ego. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.
You learn to
admit when you are wrong and to
build bridges instead of walls. You learn to be
thankful and to
take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for
yourself, by
yourself and you make
yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never,
ever settle for less than your heart's desire.
And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make it a
point to keep
smiling, to keep
trusting, and to stay
open to
every wonderful possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and
GOD by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the
life you want to live as best you can.
